Dream One: Kitten. Sack.

Pressure. I have to make sure this thing is done right. Something is coming. Much like The Nothing but much, much worse.
There is a kitten in my hand. He is white and black and spunky. His little tail tick tocks. He gambols around my hand, biting the thumb and kicking my wrist. His eyes are kitten-crazy, ready to attack and play at once. I think I love him.
There is a sack in my other hand. It is burlap. Looking at it hurts me. I turn my head away from it, try not to feel its rough weight in my hand. I look all about me. Anywhere but the kitten and the sack. I put my head back as far as it will go and look at the sky. Sometimes a storm is coming, almost here. Sometimes the sky is blue, and a bird chirps to one side. Looking up this way makes me very dizzy. Still, I do it for a while.
Finally my hands move on their own. My right hand puts the kitten into my left hand's sack. I see the water, always moving. It is a tub. It is a sink. It is a stream. My hands put the sack in the water. What is about to happen is horrible. I do it anyway to save us from what is coming. I don't think about it. My eyes look of their own accord. The burlap is suddenly see-through like a pale nylon stocking. The kitten struggles hard, but not so hard that I know that he knows his life is ending. I watch and my stomach fills with something so wretched I cannot throw it up and I cannot keep it down. Choking and sweating and swaying I watch the kitten. His lips are pink and lovely. His eyes are hazel. The pads of his toes are pink and black. His fur swirls around him swaying in the current. Finally, he takes a deep breath of cold water. I feel the water in my lungs. It is fire and ice and daggers. I cannot breathe. The kitten's body goes slack. His eyes still. His neck and head and limbs move ever so slightly with the gentle motion of the water. I am so sick. I slump. I sit and look and look and look.

Upon waking: I keep my eyes closed and try to settle my stomach with deep breaths. I can feel the tears sliding over my ears and down my neck. I think, "Are my cats okay?" and open my eyes to start a house-wide search. But they are near me: one next to my hip and one by my feet. They looked at me, quietly.